"YOU are not the boss of me!" My nephew made it clear as a toddler that attempts by anyone—sometimes including his parental units—to try to exert authority over his world were not welcome. And who can blame him. None of us respond well to those who try to boss us without our consent.

But how do you do as boss of you? Even if you aren't self employed, you're your own best boss. In What Makes the Best Jobs Best? we had some great conversations about memories of everything from retaliatory bosses who controlled restroom breaks and personal property, to the best bosses—the ones who nurtured careers and provided guidance and understanding that led to true professional development.

Looking at our lives from the perspective of workplace psychology, we each have the opportunity to go about our work of living each day being the best boss and the best employee ever! ... ... << MORE >>

What does more damage, the things we say or the things left unsaid?

Today, I'm going with things left unsaid. They can erode relationships, bring committee work to a grinding halt and sabotage even the best-built businesses

Remember the rule we discussed in
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Hello self-serving subject matter. This blog is all about me. And ironically, it's an effort to be sure my community understands exactly what it is I do, in spite of the fact that I often say what we do is less important than what we are. What I am becomes evident spending much time with a person or her writing. What is not revealed within that context is that I am... for hire! I do...stuff! And I'm good at it. So here's a list, in no particular order of what you, or a group you know, might want to hire me to do... ... << MORE >>

Do you find yourself exhausted by politics? Perhaps you are just really worn out by the antics of "the other" party? Do you have some commentators you love and others whose mere presence on a flat screen causes you to run from the room?

I for one, am very, very tired of partisan politics. I'm tired of my side, your side and the other side. I want someone to rise above it all.

Then I remember, if peace begins with me, so do repaired unions. If we want to see others work out big issues, we need to be better keepers of little ones. ... << MORE >>

I have my theories on the answer to this question, but I'd like you to take just a moment to expand my base of understanding by answering the following questions on the blog's comment section...

1.     Have you ever had an outstanding boss?
2.     What makes a great boss great?

3.     Have you ever had a job you really loved and if so why did you love it?

Thanks for helping expand my world today friends! I'll answer eventually, but I want to know what you all think!

Here's to a growing goodness kind of Monday!

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I think everyone needs time just to be. Thinking often can turn to worrying or strategizing, particularly as your responsibilities increase. The challenge is that people who are most stressed are busiest and don't have time to get away. So how do you benefit from the capacity-broadening, decision-improving benefits we know come with renewal when you have limited time? Look at time differently! Instead of thinking in terms of hours; think in terms of 10-minute units. Much can be done in those short chunks of time that equip you to handle the rough hours ahead.

And remember...the time to renew yourself is before you make the critical misstep of responding from depleted supplies of patience and tolerance. So...when you feel the walls closing in, take time to. ... ... << MORE >>

I ask the question, simply because I'm often not. People may ascribe that quality to me, but I rarely exhibit it.

How does patience lead to great leadership?
Often we think leaders are people who have the authority to react immediately and confidently in any situation. One CEO responded to my advice that he wait before intervening in a situation and said, "Mimi, that's difficult for me. I operate with a slash and burn approach."

He could get in there and "get 'er done," but we were dealing people. And people sometimes need our patience. By not jumping in, he watched as a staff person exercised abilities he didn't believe she possessed to deal with the situation on her own. Her department was stronger for it because her leadership was affirmed. Had he followed his instinct, the result would have been the same (a trouble-causing employee was asked to leave), but the fallout would have been significant, as I'm sure you can guess...or have experienced.

How does patience work in parenting?
I try to remember the ... << MORE >>

Haiti, I forgot you. I read Mountains Beyond Mountains and you changed my view of the world. And then, I simply forgot to remember that every time I ate more than one meal a day, I was rich.

And now, you lie in a rubble. Just when things were beginning to improve...as if the poorest of the poor in the world might find solid ground beneath their aching feet...you've been left with nowhere safe to stand.


So Bloomin' Blog readers, what can you and I do? We can give a donation with all our heart—that means more than the check or credit card contribution that might ease your conscience—and support organizations that will quickly send relief to this small country devastated by a 7.0 earthquake yesterday as I...what do you suppose I did as the walls caved in there...answered an email, enjoyed a mid afternoon cup of coffee in the security of my perfectly equipped kitchen?

So please, stop. Think. Read. Look at the heartbreaking images. ... << MORE >>

"I'll say 'sorry' if he does!"

It was the typical retort of childhood standoffs. No one wanted to be the first to apologize or to yield his or her position. Have you changed all that much? I'm trying.

I realize, particularly as it relates to my marriage, that a tiny shift in my heart hold—those attitudes I carry at the core of my being as truths—can make space for new growth, even after 25 years. And in every other relationship, seeking first to understand, first to forgive, first to begin again brings an expansion of spirit and perspective unlike any other practice. So why don't we do it?

Here are some of my thoughts on why... ... << MORE >>

What's the rugby player at the right thinking? What is his strategy as he breaks free of the tackle and rushes to make the try (the rugby equivalent of a touchdown)?

Well...it's my son, Will,  in the photo and I—the all-seeing and all-knowing mother—don't even pretend to know. Yet as I watch football, which is one of my favorite pastimes, I'm always amused to hear the commentators say with such conviction exactly what players are thinking and even feeling.

What if that happened to us at work? I can't imagine what it would be like to hear the voices of the NBC NFL team commentating on every decision and move I make through the day...

"You know Bob, I noticed she still hasn't gotten those 1099s out. I think this reckless procrastination is the pattern that will be her undoing!"

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