First, if you are reading this and you or someone you love has lost your job, I'm so sorry. I understand. Today, I will share my thoughts and the advice of an expert all in the hope of creating a sense of community to dispel any isolation or hopelessness that may exist in a heart out there. I'll share more details of our journey as Greg's been out of work, and some of the things we've discovered about ourselves along the way. I also bring you advice from Kitty Wiemelt, author of the book Laid Off? Don't Stress! How to Get From Mad to Glad, which has been featured on CNN and other national venues. If you want to understand the story behind my advice, read on! Skip ahead to the numbered bullet points if you just need answers.

For most people, 08.08.08 signaled the opening of the Olympics in Beijing. For our household, it signaled the opening of a new life chapter as events at Greg's company that day led him to resign. Coupled with the loss of his income and a bit of his identity (we'll talk about that in a bit!) was a sense of betrayal. Grief was definitely part of the process, as were anger and denial.

Greg has been an in-house attorney for the last 15 years of his career, most recently serving as General Counsel for firms specializing in the collection of health care receivables. He knows more about interpreting the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act coupled with HIPAA compliance than any attorney anywhere. I say that—he doesn't because he would say there's no way to prove that it's a fact! As you might guess, that expertise is required by a very narrow segment of the marketplace. So, he's facing challenges similar to anyone who is a seasoned veteran with deep experience in an area. What makes you great also limits your appeal. You have to have help broadening the way you define what you really have to offer. (See my #2 below.)

He hadn't applied for a job since he got his first one in 1986. Since that time, he has changed jobs, but he has always been sought after, he never looked. Bless his heart, he didn't even realize that companies require online applications now. The day he realized he had to fill in all the blanks on someone else's system instead of just sending in a resume was a rude awakening. 

Because I am very action oriented (more thinking would be good sometimes!) my response to Greg's news was to write everyone I knew who was an attorney or who was in a position I thought might help. I have never hesitated to ask people for help, because I never hesitate to give it. So this was easy for me. You'll see it's the second bullet point in Kitty's list. Greg also made a calls to people he knew in the industry. This led to some real discouragement when one person sounded as if her company would extend an offer the next day and then, for no apparent reason, went cold. (We'll talk more about that in a moment, too!) It's hard for some personality types to continue to extend themselves day after day. The networking tips below will help.

Initially, I had no feelings of fear or panic. We had six months of financial cushion set aside, just as all the experts advice. What we hadn't paid attention to is that the average time it takes to find a senior executive level job is one year. Luckily, we are still okay, but when we can generate savings again, it will be very satisfying to build up a larger reserve based on this important life lesson.

My peace isn't always maintained. I have experienced two panic episodes. One was driving alone across my beautiful Montana where I was free to worry, scream and cry as needed. The second was walking with my sister, when one worry tumbled out after the other until I was exhausted...but much better for the exercise...or was it exorcise? I highly recommend allowing yourself to have a catharsis or two.

The rest of the time, I really am just fine. I could recite more positive stuff here, but if you you read much of the bloomin' blog, you'll get it.  We are sufficient because God is. The rest is just stuff.

On to the list! Kitty's advice is first. She speaks from experience , as she lost her job after a long and dedicated career. She found the ability to capture the winds of change to fill up her sails and take her in totally new directions. Her website is www.windsofchangeconsulting.com/. Here are Kitty Wiemelt's top four suggestions in her words:

1. Take time to grieve. You have, for the moment, lost your purpose and your direction. You have come to the end of your life as it was. Take some time to reflect, cry, pound your fists and shortly (believe me, I know) you will slowly regain your footing.
2. Suck it up and write down a list of 200 people you know—church, associations, neighbors ANYONE, and then start calling them and sharing the fact that you are laid off. Tell them what you are looking for and you'll have 200 recruiters out there working for you . People want to help others connect. It's a good feeling.
3. Second Chance—this lay off is your second chance—think about what you really want to do. Why are you here on earth? You might even hire a career coach to help you flesh out some ideas.
4. Take some days just for you. You'll be back at work before you know it. Don't look back and say, "I wish I'd have gone fishing." Life only comes around once—live today.

And here' are some thoughts from the Merediths' file of significant learning experiences:

1. What is your job to you? When you are used to taking one call after another on your Blackberry and to always being behind in email responses, the abrupt end of those responsibilities leaves you wondering what to do. This is a good time to stop and ask yourself what role your job has in your life. Because we all work differently, there is no right or wrong answer. The important thing is that you choose what role you want your vocation to occupy and whether you want it to support your life or to become your life. For many, the end of any relationship can lead to revelations not only about with whom and what we associate, but why. Soul searching. You've got the time. Have no fear.
2. Is it contagious? People don't know quite how to respond to folks who are out of work. It generates the same emotions as knowing what to say to someone who has lost a loved one or who has been diagnosed with cancer. If you have a friend who seems to understand, great. But I recommend that you just let your friends be your friends, which means the relationship should be balanced and mutually beneficial, right? The listening ears that can help you most are on the head of a professional.  While it still takes Greg's efforts to move the needle, the confidence that came from an objective professional assessment of his skills and marketability were a boost. If you can't afford a career coach, the internet and the library are great alternatives. Look for  information on skill assessments such as the DISC Profile. When I Googled what to do when you lose a job, more than 24 million related links were available. You are not alone!
3. After you've gone through all the stages of grieving that are part of job loss and have conducted a healthy assessment, allow yourself to think outside your conventional employment box. If you identify some skills that bring you joy but were underutilized in your career to this point, consider changing careers.That is what Kitty did. That is what I did. Okay...come back to this site in six months when I'm making loads of money, then me as a career example will make you feel much better!
4. Network, network, network. Again, your friends and distant associates (don't be shy about calling people who are friends of a friend of a friend. In the last month, those have been some of my most rewarding conversations!) can not "get" you a job. You have to do that. However, they may offer just he insight you need or the connection to someone who needs your skills. If you don't want to "bother" anyone, you need to ask yourself why. You are not asking them to be jobless with you. You are asking for a moment of their time. When you make networking calls...
• Be positive
• Be brief. Practice what you have to say out loud until it begins to feel natural.
• Be prepared with conversational topics of common interest. Have you read an article about their industry? (I hope so...you should be reading every trade publication there is right now and harvesting every news story of relevance.) Are you aware of a challenge the industry is facing? Have conversation in mind that doesn't revolve around you.
• If it seems appropriate, ask if you can buy them coffee or have 15 minutes for a face-to-face meeting.The objective is to remind them that you're a great person and you're available.
• Follow up. Send a thank you note and in the note, offer a statement in 30 words are less that summarizes what you're looking for. Do not send your resume unless they specifically request it. 
• Record and reconnect. Record the date you contacted them and the outcome. Record the thank you note sent. Find another reason to connect with them—perhaps you can send a quote out of a great article or the name of a restaurant or golf course you think they might enjoy based on your conversation. Serve their needs in small, unobtrusive ways. You don't want to overwhelm with unsolicited advice, or they will block your email, You want them to associate you with positive experiences. The point of follow up is to keep your network alive and aware of you.
• When someone says they'll get back to you and they don't, give them another chance. If they persist in that behavior, they are not the kind of professional you want in your network. Don't burn bridges, but don't allow yourself to desperately knock on closed doors.
5. Do other work. Because we are beings who feel great about accomplishing things, find something new to accomplish. Paint your back fence (thankfully, this was Greg's outlet. The fence looks great and he got some fresh air and was able to see the tangible results of a day's efforts.); run or lift weights with the goal of improving your endurance; learn a new skill; volunteer; clean out the garage. There are many activities that will improve your life and give you the feeling of accomplishment you may miss when you're not working.
6. Journal. Greg has been keeping notes throughout this process that will make him a better employer and a better friend. He has had many Ah ha! moments he doesn't want to forget. 
7. Be grateful. In general, this has been a great experience for our family. We have had more time together and we've remembered that we are an outstanding unit! Along the way, we have been surrounded by care from family and friends. We are incredibly blessed.

Goodness is offered in every moment regardless of your circumstance. It shouldn't take comparisons to make this clear to you. I hope you can feel it to the core of your being with no prompting. But if a prompt is required, imagine trying to find a job in Kenya, where a famine rages, unions can be brutal and the cost of living is higher than we can begin to comprehend in the midst of our well-stocked supermarkets and food banks. Give thanks.

Remember this: God is enough...and so you, too, are sufficient. That affirmation alone should lift you back to your feet. Then you can begin to take one step after another. Just one step at a time. In the blink of an eye, you'll be looking back on these times. And when you look back, I hope you see evidence that you nurtured the good seeds that were planted along your path. Even now, you can be sure that where you are, just as you are, goodness grows.